why do height differences in shipping always have to be about one being really tiny and the other being really tall. what about one being exactly a single inch taller than the other and the second being consistently angry about this.
you know what kills me, what really haunts my deepest darkest dreams? harry using lumos at privet drive in prisoner of azkaban to do his homework. WARNER BROTHERS! Harry Potter WAS NOT ALLOWED TO DO MAGIC OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL. THAT’S WHY HE RAN AWAY AFTER BLOWING UP HIS FUCKING AUNT. Do you understand the MAJOR continuity problem in your adaptation of this billion-dollar book series? DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
nail polish on fingernails: 2 days nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite
one of my roommates used to work with 5th graders in a creative writing class thing and they had to write a romance and most of the kids wrote stories about princesses and crap but this one little girl wrote about how a marshmallow fell in love with a mug of cocoa and he loved the cocoa so much that in order to be with her he melted and died like wow kid that’s some shakespearian shit right there
i love the Women Against Feminism that are like “I dont need feminism because i can admit i need my husband to open a jar for me and thats ok!” cause listen 1. get a towel 2. get the towel damp 3. put it on the lid and twist. BAM now men are completely useless. you, too, can open a jar. time to get a divorce